My Wedding Photographer chapter had come to an end. Thank you, next.

It was the end of the first year of the pandemic. And a total shitstorm of a year, to put it lightly. My livelihood was gone in a matter of minutes when announcements came out regarding “sheltering in place” and all the other legalities that followed. I had been on the fence about ‘retiring’ from wedding photography in the past. This would be the perfect time to step down, and away from something that sucked me in so hard. I couldn’t break away even when I tried. Let me explain…

I actually hated the one photography class I took in high school

The class itself was fine, my teacher was an actual saint, but it was the darkroom that was too much for me. Sound. I don’t necessarily feel ‘audio’ is my language of choice, but sound plays a huge roll in my life. The darkroom was a place of torture for my ears – one student who dominated the sound system played death metal over and over. I hated being there, no matter how amazing of a time I was having in the actual class.

I blame facebook. And my best friend, Jen

Let me explain why. I got my start in professional photography entirely by chance. My over a decade long career in photography was merely an accident that just kept on going. For 12 years. It was Jen’s family who I took pictures of, which then were posted on facebook for her family and friends to see. A classmate of mine from collage (was going to school to be a registered nurse flight medic of all things!) saw the pictures. He asked me if I’d want to take pictures at his wedding. I was thrilled. Of course I would, what an honor. Right?! I didn’t think anything more of it.

I loved shooting his wedding. And I was HOOKED

So I said to myself ‘thank you, next’ to school to be an RN (a little more complicated than just saying “no thank you” to school I had been attending for a VERY LONG TIME, but for brevity sake, we’ll just say I took a break that lasted 15 years). Still in “student” mode, I spent a full year studying photography while also working as a backup photographer (an apprentice) for other photographers.

Photography didn’t light me up the way I had wished it did

It didn’t matter how beautiful my clients were (and ALL of them were stunning!) or the amazing location we were in (I live in a destination area, people come here to get married!). None of that really woo’ed me like it should have. What did woo the crap out of me was our time together. We would chat and get to know each other, and it was the conversations I loved most. My clients turned friends were what lit me up inside.

Life coach, Guide, Mentor, Cheerleader…

Or “helping practitioner” as a Life Coach instructor of mine would call us. He preferred it over ‘coach’ or ‘guide’. Nonetheless, I have taken some courses in “life coaching” because I felt I needed the legitimacy behind a certificate.

But let’s get back to the reason for this blog post

From the beginning of my wedding photographer career, I knew I wouldn’t do it forever. I didn’t need to be madly in love with photography. But what it did to my mental health, it just wasn’t right. By every October, the burnout set in. I’ll preface by saying, I am not an anxious person by nature. But shooting weddings did things to my body nothing else ever did. I was ANXIOUS all the time. I even went as far as to study “anxiety”. There are tricks one can do to their brain, making it think it’s NOT anxiety, but rather “excitement”. I tried. It didn’t work. Still anxious for days before a wedding, and following the wedding. And there were months I’d shoot three or four elopements a week. My body was riddled with anxiety 24/7, for a decade.

It’s never easy walking away from something that feeds the ego

I was really good at what I did. I had my job down, could do it with my eyes closed (figuratively of course). The absolute magic was palpable. When you are at that crossroad of feeling lite up inside because something is feeding the ego and NOT because it’s the work that you’re doing – well my friends, that’s where the hard work begins. We all know how addictive feeding the ego can get. At 47, I’ve done some hard things, but it was sheer AUDACITY (and a whole lotta self-love!) that got me to where I am today.

Thank you

My blog is where I’ll share as much as possible. I have so much information rolling around in my head, and on paper (I love writing, and spend a good 45 minutes to an hour daily writing) that I want to share. If you sign up for the “newsletter” you’ll get a copy of the 4 pillars of Self-Love, guided journal (I wrote this myself). You’ll also get a newsletter from me bi-monthly, I will have thought provoking ideas, maybe a tip or two on dealing with life’s bs and so much more.

I’m also looking forward to the Masterclass where “The Collective” will really shine. I would LOVE for you to sign up – just let me know through the contact form on the website. You can find it here. Date is TBD. It will be this year, and it will be amazing!

Hiring Tammie for coaching

Although I’m not actively seeking clients at this time, if you are interested in coaching, contact me on the website contact form. You can find it here. After we chat on the phone, roughly 20-30 minutes. The phone call conversation is not free-flowing. I have a series of questions I’ll ask, and nothing intimidating I promise! Following our call I will send you a proposal through email which shouldn’t take just a day or two.

Honestly, hiring a life coach isn’t a one size fits all. I am no different than going to a doctor, therapist or dentist; sometimes it just isn’t a good fit, but then sometimes I just IS! And that is what we’re always hoping for, aren’t we?!

With that said, and probably too much as I do find writing a passion of mine! thank you again for being here. Enjoy the journey with me!